Thursday, August 30, 2007

A Terrible and Tumultuous Adventure of the Brothers Powell formally titled "The Unfortunate Shoes of Cousin Michael"


Let's be honest with each other shall we? A visit to any old cabin in the mountains should be a calming or at least a relaxing experience but the Brothers Powell weren't about to visit just any old cabin. John and Brian were on there way to spend a portion of their summer at the cabin of Walt Mullins.

Walt having white, feathered hair like the swans that swam nearby in the river, was a strong man. Although some would say a man his age should be taking it easy and preparing for the next world Walt wouldn't hear of it. This short, yet ironically, giant of a man had the tenacity, fire and stubbornness of an eighteen year old. At the age of 80 he could still wrestle a bear, catch a 300 pound salmon and shoot three pheasant out of the sky all at the same time. Never was a man more at home than Walt was, here in the mountains of Idaho, at his cabin.

The cabin, situated comfortably on the Buffalo River, was made from the blood, sweat and tears of Walt. Ok honestly is was made of braun and steel just like Walt. Men of his age were always made of these materials. Ok but even MORE honestly, the cabin was made of wood which woodpeckers loved to shoot away at with their beaks. Walt in turn loved to shoot away at the woodpeckers with his trusty 12 gauge. Brian loved to see the orange feathers of the poor peckers plume as Walt shot them.

Brian always loved to visit the cabin as he was a bit more like Walt than his older brother John. John on the other hand felt he was always the bud of Walt's schemes which may not have been too far from the truth. Walt was a practical joker after all.

On one particular occasion Walt asked John, Brian and their cousin Michael to take care of a pile of wood by igniting it with gasoline and watching it burn. The boys, being pyro-maniacs, were thrilled by the prospect of playing with gasoline and fire! Walt explained to John he would need to pour the entire 5 gallon drum on the wood and then throw a match on it. As Michael and John poured the gasoline Walt leaned over to Brian while stepping back a bit and whispered, with a hint of the devil in his voice, "Watch this!"

John lit his small, wooden match, smiled excitedly at Michael as Michael exclaimed, "Do it!" John, following instructions from his younger cousin, threw the match ... The events that follow happened so fast that describing in a narrative, with accuracy, the hilarity that would ensue is quite tricky ... John's hair was blown back as he looked over with a blackened face to see Michael's shoes stuck in the remaining snow of the previous winter yet, there was no Michael. John then realizing what had happened began to look frantically around for Michael. In the distance John could see two white socks at the top of a small hill which belonged to the rest of Michael and ... a bit further in the distance Walt and Brian bent over laughing. Michael flew for nearly three seconds and about forty feet that day.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Alas... I am lame.


I haven't posted in like a week ... does that make me lame or AWESOME!? I wouldn't know because I have no idea what cool is. I don't want to be cool I just want to be comfortable. Like I want a boat and a big house with a waterslide from my bedroom window. I want a urinal in my shower so I can pee in the shower and not have to stand in my own pee. I want two big recliners so I can pick which one I want to make dirty with cookie crumbs and milk. I want an elephant ... mostly just so I could say "the elephant did it!" I want a rider mower ... with 4000 horse power. That's right 4000. I want a weird disorder ... like trichophagia so people look at me when I am eating my own hair and say "WTF?" I want a moustache a full chest of man hair and shorts as wicked cool as Magnum P.I. ... oh yeah got the man hair down, now for the stash and shorts!

artwork by Spenny Whistle

Speaking of Magnum P.I. ... Tom Selleck is seeking to remove the Detroit Tigers logo from ‘Magnum’ episodes! My favourite part of the column I read is a statement from Margarite Thomas-

“This is simple image management,” said Margarite Thomas, editor of ‘TV Guide.’ “Selleck doesn’t want his name and work linked to such a horrible baseball team.”

HEY NOW! The Tigers may suck but ... geez "horrible" that's just plain cruel.

check out the following link: Selleck Seeking to Remove Tigers Logo from ‘Magnum’ Episodes

Sidenote: TC is SO bitchin'! I always wanted to be him but ... alas I am not black.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Space Dork



I've always loved outter space. The idea of infinity is incredible. I love Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica all that crap... but I've never acutally done any kind of art involving space simply for the HUGE nerd factor it entails. I have finally come to grips with the fact that I am irrefutably ... a nerd. So I have done my very first "Space" pieces. I hope you can laugh at them as much as I have.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Praise be to the factory!


Apparently asses are made in Salt Lake City and if you were born pre-1972 you'd better get your ass on order!


agitprop \AJ-it-prop\, noun:
Propaganda, especially pro-communist political propaganda disseminated through literature, drama, music, or art.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Salty City Sights - Old Hotel Utah

Design is not Art.


"Mr. Tambourine Man"


"I Fought the Law"


"Cassette Theory"


"Mercy"

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Witches+Pirates+Hot actresses+Billy Goats = Awesome!


I saw Stardust tonight and I have to say it started a little slow but it REALLY got better. I've always really liked it's author Neil Gaiman, his children's novel Coraline being particularly good. As far as Stardust goes I have to say Captain Shakespeare (Robert De Niro) was definitely the stand out character in my mind. You'll have to see the movie to fully appreciate what I am talking about. Two of the hotter girls in Hollywood are in the film. First and foremost I've had a serious crush on Claire Danes since ... My So Called Life. Sienna Miller is another favourite of mine. Mark Williams aka Arthur Weasley has a GREAT cameo but I won't spoil it. Fun story, great effects, HOT ladies and a ton of laughs. Over all I give it 4 stars.

Who pays for smooth jazz anyway?

Once again I am hanging in the Audio/Visual section of the Salt Lake City Public Library. I mentioned the other day that some really, for lack of a better word, eccentric people come in to the library. I failed to mention however that some really hot girls frequent the audio/visual section (along with the guys that have really long greasy black hair that look like they could be in some kind of death metal band named "Tarantula" or "The Mother Sucking Vampirezzz"). It's a great place to get free music and the library has a decent selection. I never check out albums I just import them to my iTunes while I am looking out the window or blogging or ... reading maybe? I am what I like to call the plenipotentiary of the audio/visual section. I don't need to justify what I am doing SOOOO ... I am getting good music for free.



Sidenote: If you're into finding music thats "new to you" you may want to try these albums by Belle & Sebastian. They are free at the SLCPL! P.S. this photo sucks but I took it with the built in camera of my MacBook so don't hate me.


plenipotentiary \plen-uh-puh-TEN-shee-air-ee; -shuh-ree\, adjective:
1. Containing or conferring full power; invested with full power; as, "plenipotentiary license; plenipotentiary ministers."

noun:
1. A person invested with full power to transact any business; especially, an ambassador or diplomatic agent with full power to negotiate a treaty or to transact other business.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

"I love you too but I'm gunna mace you in the face"


Wes Anderson has done it again! He's crafted his latest film "The Darjeeling Limited". Everytime this guy makes a movie I poop myself ... *slight grunt* ... oops ... but for real I always sit in awe at the colourful, eccentric yet beautifully unbalanced scenes he creates.

Fans of Anderson's work will recognise most of the faces in this film. Some of the regulars include Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray and Anjelica Huston. Adrien Brody and Natalie Portman are just a few of the newcomers to the very adept talent he has worked with.

With "Royal Tenenbaums", "Rushmore", "Bottle Rocket", and "Life Aquatic" all being at the top of my favourite movies list you KNOW I am going to see this one!


nebbish \NEB-ish\, noun:
A weak-willed, timid, or ineffectual person.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Quote #2 »

" When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself." -Jacques-Yves Cousteau

My life hasn't been too extraordinary up to the present however I feel some good changes are coming! I have decided to start a new project. I am excited about it! I am not going to talk about it just yet because ... I don't want to feel commited if I decide to back out.

Today was a good day. I walked about 15 miles around the downtown area snapping the camera from 8am until around 10pm. I got some great shots and some of them as you can see have already been posted. Now that I've started these last few posts of native buildings I will continue the "Salty City Sights" as long as I can find buildings to photograph.


en masse \en MASS; on MASS\, adverb:
All together; as a whole.

Salty City Sights - Boston & Newhouse Building




Salty City Sights - Alleys


This is an on-going project of Alleys that I find as I wander about so check back on this post.

Salty City Sights - Cathedral of the Madeline




Friday, August 10, 2007

T.G.I.F.


This is my daily view. I swear I'm always staring at the keyboard or the computer screen. Weekends are the greatest!

Pizza, doughnuts, and rootbeers! Oh yeah!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Salty City Sights - City County Building


I took a walk today around dowtown Salt Lake City. I get bored working all day in my house or at the library and I need some kind of reprieve. As I was walking I decided that I wanted to see the inside of the city county building. I went in there years ago for a World War II exhibit that was inspired by the diary of Anne Frank and I vaguely remembered some details. I decided to take a few photos too. Here are a few.





Sidenote: I saw The Rentals tonight with some friends. The Rentals are a project Matt Sharp ex-Weezer bassist started quite awhile back. I have to say I was totally smitten by the new recruit Sara Radle. I mean I love girls that can sing and play guitar but when they're hot on top of it all... OH SNAP! I have to say she was my favourite part of the show.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Loquacious? Me?

I've always been a talker. Anyone that really knows me can attest I talk, talk, talk. I didn't graduate from high school simply because I couldn't shut my yapper long enough to do my homework. I mean I talk SO much that I talk to myself and laugh at my own jokes. I know I know it's absurd! In the past I conversed enough with people that my vocabulary skills seemed to expand. I've found however that as I have become more of a hermit, and now have a pastey grey pallor from the soft glow of my computer screen, I've lost quite a bit of that vocabulary or at least no longer use it. I wouldn't be surprised if I use the words "cool", "awesome", "wicked", "rad", and "sweet" more than the word's "the" and "and" in my daily rap sessions.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like I've only become increasingly more imbecilic?

White Trash?


After three years of sporting long hair I decided to make a travesty not only of myself but also of all white-trash-kind. After buzzing away at my dream box for a modest three minutes I styled this abhorrent, contemptible, loathsome, lousy, very bad, vile and nauseating hair cloth.

Sidenote: A composition that could have brought this rear neck beard to its full magnitude would have been if I were outside watering the lawn with my shirt off picking belly lint.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Who cares

I love having this blog because no one ever reads it and I can pretty much write anything I want. So with that knowledge I am just going to talk about things that don't matter.

I work freelance so I spend a lot of days on my own. My favorite place to work is the downtown library because people that walk into that place are intense! I love that half the people that go to the library don't shower. Seriously I have smelled some of the most amazingly horrid smells of all time in that library! It's AWESOME! I've always wondered if people that smell that bad can smell themselves and think "Wow I stink!" or if they're thinking "Wow I am the essence of greatness and glory to the nostrils!" It perplexes me, truly.

Sidenote: I hate cats. They are like high school girls, flighty, snobbish and they stink. I once had a cat named Sake as in "for Pete's sake!" I hated that thing. It was always attacking me for no reason and always trying to fight the other neighborhood cats. Eventually it came home with cat AIDS and died.

So back to the library... in the young adult section of the library they play really good music! As I sat quite placidly in my comfortable booth reading jeremiads from The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm I listened to Oasis, Radiohead, The White Stripes and a plethora of fine bands. I am too old to sit in the young adult section and read but ... I don't care because I like the music. It's quite the conventional distraction as well.

I love finding errant books through out the library. The irony of a self help book in the religious section is a little too much for me and it makes me laugh. Overall I have to say ... libraries are pretty cool.



jeremiad \jair-uh-MY-uhd\, noun:
A tale of sorrow, disappointment, or complaint; a doleful story; also, a dolorous or angry tirade.